Wow.. this is not going to be an easy thing to talk about but it''s still a very important matter.. In my introduction I wrote that I am a father of 3 daughters and that I was going to leave society to live in the wild. It is only a matter of time until someone asks "But what about your children?", "Don't you love them?", "Won't you miss them?"..
Truth is I am not a cold hearted bastard. I cannot look at them, turn around and walk away while realising that I might never see them again. I love my children and I spend more time with them then my father used to spend with me. Then again the last time when I had a job I was 23 years old so I had all the time in the world to play with them, care for them or to give them the attention they deserve in any other way. I was there when they were born, I was there when they started to walk and when they said their first words. My children are all I have and all I need.
Then why leave you might think.
Because I do not feel at home in the society i'm currently living in. My children are the only reason why I would stay while I can think of a million reasons why I would leave. I have 2 five years old daughters (twins) and a 1 year old daughter and I understand that they will grow up not knowing where daddy is. Sure, this is my quest, my journey but it comes at a cost.
I know that they will turn out allright in the hands of their mother and her (over)protective family but still it is hard for me to think about it. letting go of someone you love alot is hard and letting go of your children is impossible because we are talking about a kind of love only another parent can understand so I will be taking them with me in my mind and think about them every day